A Different Kind of Prom

Hello, welcome back to Modern Promenade. I know that it has been a while and I've realized that I'm going to have to update on a weekly as opposed to daily basis. The main reason is that I'm simply not going to motivate myself to post every single day. The second reason is that, there simply isn't that much info that one can give about prom. Seriously. And now, on to this week's topic...

After reading back through some of my earlier entries, I've realized that I'm taking a very "traditional" heterosexual view of what it means to go to prom. Considering that my prom experience was very "traditional" and heterosexual (for the most part) that's the only perspective from which I can authoritatively speak. But, that's no excuse. The fact is, in every U.S. high school there are all kinds of students: liberal, conservative, gay, straight, bi, transgendered, black, white, asian, hispanic, awesome, obnoxious and everything in between. So, in acknowledgment of my queer brothers and sisters, I have amassed as many references as I could find on what it means to be "sexually alternative", teen-aged and going to the prom.

• Kings & Queens: Queers at the Prom - A historical account of GLBT teenagers and their prom experiences (with a super fun prom-through-the-ages insert)
• How to Take a Same-Sex Date to Prom - Practical advice by Ramon Johnson on About.com to keep things safe and fun
• Tuxes for women - Uniformal Wearhouse - Tuxedoes cut to fit women
• Temenos - Lambda Legal Article about LGBT youth and their rights
• Prom 2008 Resource Kit - Resource Kit by GLAAD if your taking a same-sex date to prom leads to a big news story in your town

My final word: Whether you're queer or straight or purple - go to the prom! It's your right as a young person who attends a school in the U.S. It's part of the whole coming-of-age, learning to be a well socialized adult thing that we do in this country. It's an excuse to eat a meal in a nice restaurant and wear fancy clothes. It's a great chance to hang out with good friends one last time and maybe make some fun memories. Straight kids, be supportive of your LGBT friends - LGBT kids, don't make fun of your straight friends. Forget about all of the hoopla that the old people try to make out of the whole deal - just be young and have fun. That's what it's all about. I'm Out!!

P.S. I'm looking for feedback, questions, corrections and suggestions. I need to hear from you people!

Dear Prom Lady...

Hello friends! Pictures are still forthcoming from the last episode, but in the meantime I am here to dole out prom advice (a la Dear Abby).

Dear Prom Lady,
I'm a guy and I'm going to my first prom this year. I want to impress my date, but I'm relatively strapped for cash. What am I expected to pay for?

- Money Is Definitely An Object

Dear MIDAO,
I understand the pressure to go all out with the stretch Escalade and the 5-star dinner, yadda yadda yadda. The thing is, none of that stuff is really necessary to have a good time. That having been said, in this age of Super Sweet 16's, more seems to be more. Take a look at the following checklist for guidance:

• Prom tickets - for most schools, these are essential just to get into the front door. If you're trying to impress the girl that you've invited (you're not just friends and you haven't been dating forever and ever), you should go ahead and pay for hers as well as your own. Assuming that your school is not trying to make a profit off of the students, the ticket prices shouldn't be more than $20 per person - $40 total
• Tux Rental - it's the traditional thing to do, you can't go naked and unless you make your outfit out of duct tape, it's probably what you're going to wear. This'll cost you about $90 for a full tux, suit and shoes. You'll pay more for fancier styles, wild colors, etc.

www.tuxrentalonline.com

• Dinner - going to dinner before the big shindig has become a tradition. Some schools host a meal for the students (or have some sort of buffet), but most schools aren't going to fill you up at the dance. (Plus, she's definitely going to want you to show her off somewhere in her big beautiful dress.) To maintain the special feeling of the evening, you'll want to eat somewhere pretty nice (let's go one step above TGI Friday's, shall we?) Let's say that you do what I did and go to Maggiano's with a big group of friends - you're looking at about $45 per person including tip. - $90 total if you pay for your date

www.maggianos.com

• Corsage - you know, the little bouquet of flowers that she wears around her wrist. (Girls used to pin them to their dresses, but that's pretty 80's - get her one that she can just wear like a bracelet). This is pretty much a prerequesite. She's going to want it to match her dress and she probably doesn't want carnations (though, they were making a come back about 4 years ago). You can get the (really cute) one pictured below from FTD for $45 including tax and shipping

http://www.ftd.com/corsages-boutonnieres-ctg/product-corsages

• Limo (optional) - this one is really up to you. Having a limo is nice because it completes the super grown-up, oh-so-luxurious feeling of the evening. It can also be fun if you're planning on doing prom in a big group and you all want to ride around together and be loud. It is, however, completely unneccessary. As a nod to keeping it real, the only reason why I would say that you ought to rent a limo is if you're planning on drinking. (Sidenote: Chances are, if you're going to prom you are under 21 and therefore it is illegal to drink. However, if you do drink, you SHOULD NOT DRIVE. - Think about it, you've had your license for about 2 years and you're drunk... you're going to hit something.) Otherwise, you should either drive yourselves or get an older sibling or cool older cousin to chauffer you around. The least expensive 8 passenger stretch limo that I could find was $65 / hour. Assuming that you use your limo for 4 hours (8pm-12am), three other couples ride and share the cost with you and you decide to pay for your date's portion, add $65 to your total.

www.AmericanLimos.org

Let's throw in another $30 for random miscellaneous things and that comes up to... $360

Start saving now, kids. It costs a lot of money to have a good time! ;)

If you have questions for the prom lady (moi) - feel free to send them my way. I promise to post them and give you the most thorough answers I can come up with.

Story Time!!

The last prom that I went to was 6 years ago (!!) But, I still remember each prom that I went to like they happened yesterday. Out of the four that I went to, my first was definitely the best and still holds the funnest memories. I can remember one thing in particular...

My good friend Linda and I started planning for prom in September. Our prom didn't happen until May, but we didn't care. We were super excited, talked about it nearly every day and didn't want to leave even one thing unplanned. I spent at least one night a week at her house for months just so we could pretend like we were doing homework while we were actually planning minute details for what our collective prom nights would be like.

One of the biggest deals for us was who we were going to take to prom. While she and I both had crushes on a few different guys in the school, we ultimately decided that it would be more fun and make a lot more sense to go with our friends. So, we decided that we would take our "Freshman Friends". She got EM and I got AD.

Me and AD, Kickin' It - Old School Style

Now that we knew who we were going to take, we began devising a thoroughly overwrought and hyper- complicated plan for how we were going to ask them. We decided that since they were only Freshmen and we were big cool Juniors and they wouldn't have been able to go unless super cool Upperclassmen asked them, we would make it even more special by making them go on a scavenger hunt in order to find a video tape that we had made asking them to the prom.

The tape was awesome. It included a dance that we choreographed to some song that I can't remember, copious references to broccoli florets (because my date was raised vegetarian) and tight outfits that were meant to resemble what they wore in The Matrix. I really wish that I still had that tape, but at the time, I found it so embarrassing that I decided that it needed to be destroyed. Alas...

Anyhow - both guys completed the scavenger hunt, watched the tape, eagerly accepted our invitations to the prom and we immediately began to instruct them on what they had to do in order to be our prom dates. Everything was going extremely well until about three weeks before prom... My date, AD, got caught with pot (aka marijuana) in his room. His mom told him that he couldn't go to prom and I ended up having to take LB - a really nice guy who I just wasn't that into - instead. Prom was still fun because I was with my friends and in the end I got to go to LB's prom as well (which would make 2 in one year), but it just wasn't the same...

So, the moral of this story is - don't do drugs (because at 17 and 18, you're going to get caught), and if things don't go exactly according to plan - don't sweat it, you can still have a good time.

Do you have any funny, embarrassing, romantic or crazy prom stories? Let me know, I'll post them. Also, don't be sad, pictures are coming - I just have to find a scanner (we're going old school, ladies and gentleman.)




Me and LB off to the prom

That's Linda, Top Left - Always Laughing

Tie a Bow on It

As promised, in this episode we will discuss the all important component of prom planning, decorations! In my opinion, this is the fun part. You can be as subtle or over-the-top as you (and your budget) can handle, but no matter what you do, this is what will set the mood, drive home your theme and really get people into the spirit of the party.

• Lighting - This is going to be the most important element of your decor. Use color, shapes and different light sizes to create a mood. Doing a Spicy Salsa theme? Use reds to crank up the excitement. Is your prom going to be a Midsummer Night's Dream? Blues and purples will create an ethereal landscape. Raid the drama department and set up spotlights with different colored gels (colored sheets of plastic that change the tone of the lights) and gobos (flat sheets of metal cut into different shapes) to create the backdrop for your event. Also, spend the majority of your decor budget on lighting and anything that you buy this year can most likely be saved for next year.
  

http://www.luminousld.com - Farmingdale, NY - Professional Lighting Design

• Backdrops, cut-outs, build-outs - If you're trying to drive home a specific theme or cover up a less-than-pretty space (ahem... ugly gym), you may want to include some larger-than-life "set pieces" that will draw the eye away from, say, a basketball hoop. While there are companies from whom you can buy this stuff pre-made, you will cut down dramatically on cost, cheeseball factor and generic-prom-itis by getting a group of volunteers together to make this type of stuff yourself. Using a little bit of time, creativity and local talent, create an Arabian sunset, a lush tropical garden or the Hollywood hills.

• Details, centerpieces & accesories - Use the little things to pull it all together. People will need somewhere to sit, so why not toss colorful, flowery lais on the table for a luau theme? Having a star-studded event? Then include a red carpet. Or, get a group of freshman and sophomores to be paparazzi by taking pictures of and interviewing the superstar couples. If you're offering favors, make them match your theme. Display a brightly colored candy bar for a Willy Wonka Wonderland or create a centerpiece of stacked vases with real or silk flowers (maybe toss in some key chains or money clips for the guys) for a Secret Garden theme.

www.partyspot.com - Party Planning by The Knot

As always, have fun, be creative, go wild. The only things that I would advise against are balloons and streamers. They're bad for the environment, can't be reused and scream 5-year-old birthday party!! You don't want someone to show up to the prom and immediately wonder where the clown is. Either way, two heads are better than one... feel free to write me with all of your trickiest decorating conundrums.

Location, Location, Location

A lot of you will be having your prom somewhere on campus - whether that's the school gym, maybe on a soccer field (if your school is really rad and lets you take advantage of the spring weather to do a pretty outdoor thing), or some other large gathering place inside of your school. If that's the case - don't worry, the upcoming episode on decor will help you make the most of your space. But, if you get to spend a little money and explore places off campus, here are some suggestions for you to consider:

Hotel Ballrooms - This is a classic choice. Hotels are extremely well equipped for large gatherings like this, can usually help with your lighting and sound, and if you're serving food (which you should to soak up the alcohol... we'll revisit this in later episodes) - they're really good at that stuff, too. A few drawbacks are that hotels can get expensive and oftentimes they are a little impersonal and cheesy which means - lots of decorating necessary.

Huntington Ballroom at Colonnade Boston Hotel - Boston, MA - www.colonnadehotel.com

Local Theaters - I think this is often an overlooked option, but big old theaters in your town will most likely have a ballroom space or even a very large stage that would work for your gathering (if your school is very big - this may not work out). This is a good potential option because a theater usually has a lot more character than a hotel ballroom, they're less likely to be booked during your weekend and because they probably don't get as much event business as hotels are used to, they may be willing to cut you a deal.

Fox Theatre - Atlanta, GA - www.foxtheatre.org

Fraternal Organizations, Women's Leagues, Etc. - Almost every town in the U.S. has a Mason's Group, Junior League, Women's Federation or something similar. And most of these groups have some sort of headquarters with large beautiful spaces that are perfect for big events. The other great thing about these guys is that, since they're non-profit, charitable organizations, they're probably willing to give a deal to their local high school for its prom. It'll most likely take a bit more research to get in touch with these groups, but it's definitely worth looking into.

The Mansion - The Texas Federation of Women's Clubs State Headquarters - Austin, TX - www.themansion.info

Event Halls - Traditional event halls are exactly what they sound like. They are businesses that have bought buildings and outfitted them specifically for holding big events. Therefore, they should have anything that you could possibly need for your prom. They should also be able to help you find local vendors to provide things like DJs or Bands, food and other services. The downside to this option is that because they're in the specific business of providing event services, they're less likely to cut you a break. Also, they may have certain vendors that you have to use in order to hold your event with them. Be sure to read all of the fine print before you sign on or you might end up with something you don't want and spending way more money than you expected.

Silver Star Hall - San Diego, CA - www.silverstarhall.com

Public Outdoor Spaces (parks, beaches, etc.) - In most areas, prom season = gorgeous weather which should definitely be taken advantage of. By holding your prom in some outdoor area, you can take advantage of the warmer temperatures, the romance of having a canopy of stars above you and you're pretty much guaranteed to have enough space to spread out and really enjoy the dancing without having hot, sweaty bodies crammed onto a tiny dancefloor. That having been said, there are a lot of questions to ask when considering an outdoor space. Especially if it's a public space. Do you need a permit to be there? Is there a certain time at night that the music has to go off? Are there rules regarding food handling, number of people that can be in the area, or security that must be present? And most importantly, what about port-a-potties?

AA Tent Company, Inc. - Salem, OR - www.aatentcompany.com

If you're still looking for ideas, there are plenty of other miscellaneous options that you should feel free to explore (be creative - you would be surprised by what's in your town). But, hopefully this list has given you some initial inspiration. Check out the links below for more information and ideas.

• http://www.gatheringguide.com/
• http://www.eventective.com/
• http://venuechooser.com/
• http://www.cvent.com
• http://www.local.com

Need more ideas or more places to look? Did I forget anything? Do you have an Event Space that I ought to mention? Let me know!

Imitating Life

While people say that life imitates art, that couldn't be further from the truth when it comes to every prom movie ever made. I don't know what it is about prom, but it makes movie directors and screenwriters go insane imagining all sorts of crazy hijinx and shenanigans for the (usually middle aged actors playing) teen-aged characters to get into.

However, I can give you a money back guarantee that no one at your prom is going to break out into spontaneous synchronized dance. Some of you will be going to the prom for the first time ever this year, so it's important for you to realize that while prom can be all sorts of fun - and it is possible to get up to some pretty good tomfoolery - PROM IS NOT LIKE THE MOVIES.

That having been said, feel free to use this list of classic prom films to inspire your night of revelry and romance. Who knows? Maybe someone will make a movie about your experience.

The True Classics

• Pretty in Pink - Ugliest. Prom Dress. Ever.
• Carrie
• Footloose
• Grease

Great Proms

• Never Been Kissed
• Teen Witch
  
• American Pie
  
• She's All That - Spontaneous choreographed dance sequence, 'nuff said
• Jawbreaker - Rose McGowan's look inspired my senior prom outfit - ch-check it out

Proms Gone Wrong

• Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion
• There's Something About Mary
• Just One of the Guys
• Rock N' Roll High School Forever

Not Really Prom - But really great dances

• Romeo and Juliet (Baz Luhrman's version)
• Westside Story
• Marie Antoinette
  

The Random Others

• The Girl Next Door
• Whatever it Takes
• 10 Things I Hate About You
• What Women Want
• Not Another Teen Movie
• Encino Man
• The Next Karate Kid
• Buffy the Vampire Slayer
  

These are only the movies that I have actually seen - Am I missing any of your favorites? Let me know.

The Heart of it All

For those of you with the responsibility and privilege of planning your school's prom, the time to think of awesome themes is upon you. To make your job easier, I have compiled a list of, what I feel, are the best prom themes available for 2008. I hope that you feel inspired!

• Club Prom - Make your prom into a night club ~ the main decorating element for this prom is the lighting - set the mood with low lighting, place lots of tea candles and find out about serving mocktails

• Italian Carnevale - Masquerades have been the height of celebration through the ages ~ use Italian influences including fountains, gondolas and arches to create a romantic landscape. Get festive by inviting guests to wear masks with their tuxes and dresses

• Vegas Baby - Roll out the roulette wheel for high excitement ~ A casino theme is always super high energy and super fun. Hire underclassmen to be poker dealers and let guests win Prom Bucks to use during an auction of prize packs at the end of the night

• Miami Nights - Create a spicy, beachy night ~ using lots of white, bright pastels, or cool blue lighting, recreate the heat of Miami beach and the coolness of the South Beach party scene. For a splurge, bring in sand for a real beach feel or create elaborate sand castles

• Hip-Hop, Don't Stop - Bring back the 80's ~ use bright neon colors, create backdrops of graffiti hearts and stars and put a little Grandmaster Flash on the ones and twos. Invite a group of students or local B-boys and girls to pop lock and break for entertainment

Or, think of old and new movies with great characters - romantic or popular songs that set the mood you're going for - seasons - exotic locations - different time periods through history - or do something that's unique to your school or town. Your prom theme won't make or break the party, it will just give you the direction you need as you're planning the food, decorations and supplies. Get creative and have fun - you can't go wrong!

For more ideas, check out these websites:

http://www.stumpsprom.com/
http://cmerry.wordpress.com/the-big-list-of-prom-themes/
http://www.partypop.com/Themes/party_themes_prom.html
http://www.plumparty.com/Themes.html
http://www.promspot.com/ps_article.htm?Object=A50113170513&subchannel=prom_committee&site= - 25k

In the next episode we'll talk about movies that feature prom. What are your favorites?