Funky Watutsi

The point of prom is to celebrate the culmination of 13 years of education and the commencement of a new life of adulthood and independence. Regardless of whether you believe in all of that, the party remains. And the way that we party in this country is to get a bunch of people together in a poorly lit room and make them move around to the beat. So, if you don't know how (or think you don't know how) to dance, you will be the lame (wo)man out.

Usually I'm very accepting of everyone, but I'll admit that I have no tolerance for someone who can't dance. I firmly believe that a lack of rhythm is simply laziness. We were all born with the rhythm of our own hearts, the oceanic sway of our mothers' amniotic fluid and the natural flow of the seasons, pull of the tide, etc. etc. etc. If your body can't get on the beat, it's because you have been to lazy to listen for it and let your natural impulses handle the rest. *Note: If you have some sort of inner ear or cerebral issue that affects your movement, I exempt you from my scathing criticism.

Now that you have been thoroughly chastised for not being able to dance, I will provide with the necessary resources to correct your shortcoming. First of all, listen to a song with an obvious danceable beat. If you're listening to Hot Hot Heat or Dead Prez or Tibetan monk chanting, no wonder you can't dance, you big nerd. This is what you should be listening to:

• SexyBack - Justin Timberlake
• SOS - Rhianna
• Hips Don't Lie - Shakira
• Top Back - T.I.
• We Fly High - Jim Jones

I put that last one on there because it just came on my Pandora, but it works, too. Plus, the beat is really slow. It's a good one to get started to. Every one of these songs has a very obvious "hand-clap"-esque beat that you should be able to catch and do a little two-step to.

What's a two-step, you ask? The answer is in the name, my friend. It's a step to the left, a step to the right. It's the easiest thing in the world. Did you hear that hand clap in the song? Good, step to the right on that. Here comes the second hand clap. Go ahead and step to the left. Oh Snap! You're a dancing genius. Okay... honestly, I can't do this without being sarcastic and annoying, so if you really can't dance, check out the following very helpful resources.

www.clubdancelessons.com
WikiHow to Dance
Dance in the Nightclub
How to Dance for Average Guys

**Just remember, if whatever you're trying to do has a name, chances are you're trying too hard.

Save Money and Give Back

Hey Party People! In these financially turbulent times, it's more important than ever that we take care of each other, find fun and happiness where we can and save as much money as possible! To that end, I'm bringing you news of a great organization called Becca's Closet.

Started by a 16-year-old named Rebecca Kirtman, this organization provides formal dresses and menswear to high school students without the resources to attend prom or homecoming. There is also a college scholarship fund associated with this organization. Learn more about these three $1000 scholarships here.

Rebecca died in a tragic auto accident in 2003, but her dream lives on through this organization and people like you who have spread it throughout the United States. While there are currently 96 chapters in 30 states, there is clearly still need. Get a chapter started in your town. Or get the Senior girls to donate the dresses they wore during Junior prom. It's not like they're going to wear them again. Plus, it'll look good on your college apps.

Thank you, Becca for your generous spirit and inspiring life.

• Step Into Becca's Closet
• Celebrity News

TRADITION!!

Hello All. I hope that you missed me as much as I missed you... I will do my best to give you more reasons to come visit.

In the meantime, let's talk about some of the age-old and kind of new traditions that are a part of proms around the world today. I did a bit of research and it turns out that everyone likes to celebrate this end-of-the-year party in fun and varied ways.


The Classics / Prim and Proper

• Crowning a Prom King, Queen or a whole court - My friend Mizz1218 is still bitter that her school crowned her prom queen and only gave her a certificate (no sash, no crown...wamp wamp)
• The Junior Class hosts / plans the prom in honor of the Seniors (Juniors and Seniors can both go, but maybe the Seniors get a free ticket, gift, both or the honor of just not having to plan it)
• One girls' school in Delaware partners with a Boys' school to hold prom. The guys get etiquette and dance lessons and then write a letter to a girl at the partner school inviting her to prom... very Pride and Prejudice
• At one school in Chicago, all of the guys (and male chaperones) wear kilts and a Scottish bagpiper and dancer comes to bring it all together
• At Junior prom, the guys give corsages. At Senior prom the girls get bouquets (sweet).
  

The Clothes Make the Prom

• At one school, there are several formals. The Sophomores have cotillion and wear long straight dresses. At the Junior prom the girls wear ball gowns and at Senior prom they wear fishtail gowns.
  
• In Hawaii, the guys give the girls a bouquet and the girls give the guys leis made of vines called maile. These traditional leis can be anywhere from one strand to about seven strands thick. They symbolize anything from love to friendship. These leis have no flowers and the guys wear them right on top of their tuxes.
• Some schools have a contest for the best dressed couple - (fun idea, but I think this would just encourage people to spend ridiculous amounts of money)
• At one school, only the Seniors are allowed to wear white. Imagine a room full of big white dresses and tuxes with a few pops of color here and there.... gorgeous.
• Another idea that I think is beautiful comes from a school that has its attendees wear masks to the event. At the end of the night, there is a contest to see whose mask is the best.
  
• Finally, I've heard about schools that have garter dances. The guys pull garters from their dates' legs with their teeth (or hands. Let's bring it down a notch), and then wear the garters on their arms and later hang them from their car rearview mirrors... racey.

Small Town, USA

• In a lot of smaller towns, prom is one of the biggest things going on. Therefore, they are more likely to have an actual "promenade" or red carpet-like procession where the town comes out to see everyone's beautiful dresses (and to find out who came with whom).
• Also, in a lot of towns, it's a big deal to arrive in some sort of creative conveyance. I've heard of everything from the (now) traditional limos and stretch hummers to golf carts, Segways, horse-drawn carriages and firetrucks with hot tubs in the back. (I feel like this last one has to be an urban legend).
• Another big tradition is to make the event a whole day of fun to spend with friends and dates. The day starts with movies, bowling, miniature golf or some other type of day-date (I've even heard of one town having a big school-sponsored triathlon with girls and guys teams and everything) followed by the dance and ending with a night of camping and bonding.

International Ideas

• While most countries outside of the U.S. don't have a prom at all, a lot of other English-speaking countries (U.K., Australia, New Zealand) do something fairly similar. Typically, there is a formal dance held in conjunction with graduation, the handing out of diplomas, etc, called Grad Night. One tradition that seems to occur all over these places is called Safe Grad. This is where after the students have officially graduated and received their diplomas, had a formal dinner and a big fun dance, everyone is bussed off to a secret and remote location (no one knows where they're going except the planning committee) where the students then proceed to get drunk and carouse until the wee hours of the morning. They then crash and later get bussed home to sleep more. This system keeps everyone from drinking and driving on the big night. **Let's remember that the drinking age is often much lower in countries outside of the U.S. and it is therefore legal for high schoolers to drink.**
• A lot of our foreign friends at least have a big breakfast after the dance is over to give everyone time to sober up and get some food in their systems to soak up the alcohol. (which is a myth. Food does not actually soak up alcohol. A drunk person who has eaten chicken wings is still drunk and should not drive. The only think that "cures" drunkeness is time.)
• Another big thing that happens at most schools abroad (and a lot of schools in the U.S.) is an after-party where the student council raises money all year to pay for a casino night, karaoke, sumo suits, food, bouncy houses and all sorts of fun stuff to keep people entertained and kickin' it with their friends all night long.
• Also, the end-of-the-year shindig is much more often a family affair abroad. In one school the students dance with one of their parents on the first song, with their date on the second and then the kids go off to party in one room while the parents stay and party in another.

Social Deviance

• Thanks to a late night of dancing, partying and going crazy, a lot of schools have a tradition of skipping school either the day of or the Monday after prom. I think this is kind of awesome, but definitely be sure that your school is okay with it before you get in serious trouble. (Like not being allowed to go to prom, or worse, graduation.)
• At another school in Chicago, it's a tradition for the guys to try to sneak in to one specific bar in town and buy a drink. As the legend goes, if you're able to get the bartenders to sell you a drink, you'll get lucky on prom night....
• A lot of schools are starting to impose an under-21 age limit on people attending the prom. This policy is supposed to help cut down on drinking.
• Some schools have taken the age limit one step farther and actually started checking non-students' criminal backgrounds to cut down on drinking, violence and sexual aggression (i.e. rape).
• I've heard of some schools holding a super early morning event (or graduation) the day after the prom to encourage students to not get wasted the night before and end up hungover the next day...
• And I've even heard about some schools issuing breathalyzer tests at the front door to keep drunk people out.

But, On a High Note

• There are some other really cute and random traditions that I've heard of including guys asking the girls in fun ways (filling balloons with tootsie rolls and shaving cream and leaving the girl a note saying, "Hey "toots", I've heard that you're a really "smooth" girl and I would "burst" with joy if you went to prom with me. After which she has to pop the balloons to find the name of the guy who asked.)
• I've also heard of a school that has its students make videos to ask their prom dates out. The most inventive one wins a free ticket to prom (my Matrix/broccolli florets video would have totally won).
  
• Another big deal at a lot of schools is to keep the theme a secret. Students try to sneak peeks into the gym or caf while it's being decorated to be the first in the know - but otherwise they have no idea until they buy their tickets which feature some sort of clue.
• And finally, my personal favorite... have an all out, sugar-coma inducing dessert buffet. The diet and exercise regimen to fit into the dress is over - you may as well pig out.

The End. Now, go out and create some fun traditions of your own. If I missed a really good one that your school does (or did) or if you want me to write about anything in particular, please feel free to comment. I'm totally open to posting your questions, ideas, pictures; whatever you got.

Imitating Life

While people say that life imitates art, that couldn't be further from the truth when it comes to every prom movie ever made. I don't know what it is about prom, but it makes movie directors and screenwriters go insane imagining all sorts of crazy hijinx and shenanigans for the (usually middle aged actors playing) teen-aged characters to get into.

However, I can give you a money back guarantee that no one at your prom is going to break out into spontaneous synchronized dance. Some of you will be going to the prom for the first time ever this year, so it's important for you to realize that while prom can be all sorts of fun - and it is possible to get up to some pretty good tomfoolery - PROM IS NOT LIKE THE MOVIES.

That having been said, feel free to use this list of classic prom films to inspire your night of revelry and romance. Who knows? Maybe someone will make a movie about your experience.

The True Classics

• Pretty in Pink - Ugliest. Prom Dress. Ever.
• Carrie
• Footloose
• Grease

Great Proms

• Never Been Kissed
• Teen Witch
  
• American Pie
  
• She's All That - Spontaneous choreographed dance sequence, 'nuff said
• Jawbreaker - Rose McGowan's look inspired my senior prom outfit - ch-check it out

Proms Gone Wrong

• Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion
• There's Something About Mary
• Just One of the Guys
• Rock N' Roll High School Forever

Not Really Prom - But really great dances

• Romeo and Juliet (Baz Luhrman's version)
• Westside Story
• Marie Antoinette
  

The Random Others

• The Girl Next Door
• Whatever it Takes
• 10 Things I Hate About You
• What Women Want
• Not Another Teen Movie
• Encino Man
• The Next Karate Kid
• Buffy the Vampire Slayer
  

These are only the movies that I have actually seen - Am I missing any of your favorites? Let me know.