Dear Prom Lady... On Drugs!

Hello party people! Please forgive me for leaving you for such a long time. I let real life get in the way of prom life when it is so clear that prom life is much more important. So, with no further ado...

Dear Prom Lady,
What's your deal? In every post you make some comment about drinking or doing drugs or something at prom. What are you trying to do? Tell us to do drugs? Tell us not to do drugs? And with all of your - "don't drink and drive" talk... do you work for M.A.D.D. or something?

- Get Over Yourself

Listen GOY,
I don't claim to have all of the answers or any special expertise, but as someone with a few years of hindsight and a public forum from which to spew my opinion, I feel like it's my duty to include some responsible warnings for you, my audience. (And, no, I don't work for M.A.D.D. though I think it is a respectable organization with its heart in the right place.)

That having been said, let me take this moment to talk about drinking, drugs and their place at prom. The fact is, a lot of people think of prom as the perfect opportunity to get wasted. I mean, you're hanging out with your high school friends for potentially the last time ever, you're already spending tons of money, you're having a good time - why not add recreational drug and alcohol use, right? Well, not exactly.

Let's take this step-by-step:

• Alcohol - This is the most abused drug in the U.S. It's cheap, easy to obtain and widely accepted. The thing is, it's also illegal to consume if you're under 21 (which you probably are), lowers your inhibitions to the point where you might do something that you will really regret later and has huge potential to make you look like a jackass in front of your friends.

However, none of those awesome reasons or your parents and school telling you not to do it will make you not do it (probably).

So, be smart. If you plan to drink, (1) find someone else to drive you around. (2) Drink 1 glass of water for every 1 drink you have (you will thank me later). (3) Listen to your body and listen to yourself. If you can't understand what you're saying, or you can feel the liquid sloshing around in your stomach, or you find yourself lying in a pee soaked bed in your Costa Rican host family's house, you know you're in trouble. (Don't ask)

• Marijuana - Oh you wacky wacky weed... the thing about pot is that it's different depending on where you get it from - sometimes you don't know how it's going to make you act. Maybe you'll get high and spend your whole prom laughing and acting silly with your friends. Or, maybe you'll get high and spend your whole prom sitting in a chair paranoid that the teachers at your dance can smell the weed in your hair.

Bottom line, weed makes you slow and stupid (at least until you come down). Dancing won't be as fun, anybody around you who isn't high will get bored of you pretty quickly and you probably won't remember most of what happened the next day. If you have to smoke, do it after the prom when you're kicking it with your homies at someone's house and you don't have to drive anywhere until the next day.

• Prescription Drugs - If you're taking a prescription that isn't yours or in a way that wasn't recommended by your personal doctor, you're potentially causing major chemical damage to your body. (The potential is there even if the prescription is yours, but that's another blog entirely.) Like weed, when you take a prescription drug, you have no idea how your body will react. Unlike weed, you can potentially become deeply chemically dependent on a pharmaceutical or find some way to kill yourself. (Like inadvertently mixing the wrong thing with alcohol or aggravating a condition that you didn't even know you had.)

My advice - don't use a prescription drug that was not prescribed to you. However, if you just can't resist the temptation, definitely don't do it at prom (and get help). It's just a bad plan.

• Cocaine - We have officially moved outside of my personal realm of experience, but I'll do the best I can. If you can afford to do coke, congratulations on being a rich teenager. Do yourself a favor, save your money for college, or a sweet apartment during college. No? Not convinced? Wikipedia will tell you why you shouldn't use this drug: "The initial signs of stimulation [from cocaine] are hyperactivity, restlessness, increased blood pressure, increased heart rate and euphoria. The euphoria is sometimes followed by feelings of discomfort and depression and a craving to experience the drug again. Sexual interest and pleasure can be amplified. Side effects can include twitching, paranoia, and impotence..."

To the point - if you do coke at prom, you're going get all hyper and weird, everyone will notice that you're acting like a silly fool - you'll get all twitchy and freaked out eventually and if you're a guy who's trying to score, chances are you won't be able to get it up...sad.

• Hallucinogens (including Ecstacy) - The really scary thing about this drug is that we're still not really sure what all it does to the human body. Also, chances are, whatever you're buying isn't just MDMA (aka Ecstasy). These days, you're far more likely to be sold speed with something cut into it. Or some other damn thing that you couldn't even predict. Point being, take X and anything or nothing could happen to you.
  

But let's get practical. If you're going to roll at prom, the issue is this: the point of prom is to dance around and have fun with your friends. E makes you want to jump up and down and have fun, but it also raises your blood pressure and body temperature, makes you forget to pee and drink water. So, as you're dancing all around and having a great time, your body is getting super hot, your heart is beating 1 million beats / minute, you're sweating your water supply out and after a while the machine that is you gets overheated and stops running. Talk about a shitty way to spend your prom. Don't risk this one at prom, too many things can go wrong.

And finally...

• Meth - There are honestly not enough ways that I can say do not use this drug. Seriously. There's nothing good here. Turn back now. Crystal Meth is very very bad for you. Whether you're at prom or in a closely monitored padded room with doctors at the ready - it's just a horrible idea to ever let this drug near you or someone you love.
  

Just read this... Common short term side effects: Diarrhea, nausea, Excessive sweating. Loss of appetite, insomnia, tremor, jaw-clenching (Bruxism), Agitation, compulsive fascination with repetitive tasks (Punding), Talkativeness, irritability, panic attacks... That's the sh*t that can happen to you the first time you take it. Gross.

In general, putting anything in your body that causes unnatural internal behavior is bad for you. This includes caffeine, excessive amounts of sugar, cough syrup, etc. The key is to be smart. Learn to listen to your body - know how you react to different things. (I crash super fast with caffeine and sugar.) Don't drink, drug and drive, ever. And finally, if you're going to take drugs, tell someone who you trust and know will be sober what you're taking. If, God forbid, something goes wrong, they can get help.

- Prom Lady